1. Get rid of all advertisements and get unlimited access to documents by upgrading to Premium Membership. Upgrade to Premium Now and also get a Premium Badge!

Stupid Oracle Database administrator!

Discussion in 'Coffee Corner' started by Sadik, Dec 14, 2008.

  1. Sadik

    Sadik Community Moderator Forum Guru

    Likes Received:
    Trophy Points:
    A Microsoft SQL Server engineer, a MySQL database administrator and an Oracle database administrator were lost in a desert when they came upon a large bottle. As they tried to pick it up to look at it, there was a puff of smoke and a magic genie appeared. "I will grant you three wishes," the genie said. "Since there are three of you, I will grant each of you one wish. But be careful what you wish for."

    The Microsoft SQL Server engineer spoke first: "Instead of being lost in a desert right now, I wish I had a Mercedes convertible and a ton of money and I was driving along the shore in Miami Beach."

    "Are you sure that's what you want?" the genie asked. "Because I can make your wish come true right now, if that's really what you want."

    The Microsoft SQL Server engineer thought for a moment and said, "Yes, I'm sure. That's what I want." With that, the genie waved his arms, and the Microsoft SQL Server engineer was suddenly somewhere else, driving a Mercedes convertible on a street in Miami Beach. The car had the top on, and despite its powerful engine, it was slowed down ever so slightly by the bags of money in the back, but all in all, the Microsoft SQL Server engineer was very happy with the results of the wish.

    There were still two people in the desert with the genie. The MySQL database administrator, seeing how the Microsoft SQL Server engineer had disappeared, began to speak: "I wish I were home right now — in a huge castle, that is, with a big swimming pool and every luxury I can imagine."

    "I suppose that counts as one wish," the genie said. "Are you sure that's what you want? Because I can make your wish come true right now, if that's really what you want."

    "Yes . . . yes, I'm sure," replied the MySQL database administrator. The genie waved his arms a second time, and in an instant, the MySQL database administrator was in a castle, surrounded by fine furniture and every kind of luxury. The television cable wasn't hooked up, and the swimming pool had no water in it, but all in all, the MySQL database administrator was very happy with the way the wish had turned out.

    Now it was just the Oracle database administrator and the genie in the desert. The Oracle database administrator thought for a few minutes, then finally made a wish: "I wish I had all the answers to everything about how Oracle works."

    "Are you sure that's what you want?" the genie asked. "That amount of knowledge could be a dangerous thing! And you could wish for anything you desire: gold, riches, success, fame, anything you choose!"

    "Yes, I'm sure," the Oracle database administrator said. "With that knowledge, I could do practically anything!"

    "You could get something smaller if you prefer, or a summary of the knowledge you are asking for. You don't have to have all that information dumped on you at once."

    "I want all of it."

    "There's no way I can talk you out of it?"


    "Very well, then. Excuse me. I will have to stand back." The genie walked a long distance away. Finally, he turned and shouted to the Oracle database administrator. "You can still change your mind!" he called.

    "No, I'm sure that's what I want," replied the Oracle database administrator, who by this time was getting very impatient. "Go ahead!"

    The genie shook his head and waved his arms a third time. In an instant, the Oracle database administrator was buried beneath a mountain of papers and books.
  2. M_Anas_O

    M_Anas_O Forum Advisor

    Likes Received:
    Trophy Points:
    Sad Story indeed ... :))

    Poor DBA
  3. tyro

    tyro Forum Genius

    Likes Received:
    Trophy Points:
    Yes indeed very sad...

    *** shakes head ***

  4. malli_18arjun

    malli_18arjun Active Member

    Likes Received:
    Trophy Points:
    good one........