1. Get rid of all advertisements and get unlimited access to documents by upgrading to Premium Membership. Upgrade to Premium Now and also get a Premium Badge!

Even More Database Jokes

Discussion in 'Coffee Corner' started by sameer, Nov 22, 2008.

  1. sameer

    sameer Forum Advisor

    Messages:
    105
    Likes Received:
    6
    Trophy Points:
    240
    Taking router

    It is March 1st and the first day of DBMS school
    The teacher starts off with a role call..

    Teacher: Oracle?
    "Present sir"
    Teacher: DB2?
    "Present sir"
    Teacher: SQL Server?
    "Present sir"
    Teacher: MySQL?
    [Silence]
    Teacher: MySQL?
    [Silence]
    Teacher: Where the hell is MySQL
    [In rushes MySQL, unshaved, hair a mess]
    Teacher: Where have you been MySQL
    "Sorry sir I thought it was February 31st"
     
  2. sameer

    sameer Forum Advisor

    Messages:
    105
    Likes Received:
    6
    Trophy Points:
    240
    SP_ guest

    Guest is knocking the door: Knock Knock
    Host: "Who's There?"
    Guest: "sp underscore"
    Host: "sp underscore who?"
    Guest: "spid1, spid2, spid3.... "
     
  3. sameer

    sameer Forum Advisor

    Messages:
    105
    Likes Received:
    6
    Trophy Points:
    240
    DB team in limo

    At the premier of the first ever database movie "The Relational Chainsaw Massacre", the crowd is waiting for the stars to arrive:
    The first limousine arrives and out steps Oracle followed by 4 people

    Interviewer: Who have you brought along?
    Oracle: I have 4 DBA's in tow. One to install me, one to design the databases, one to administer me and the other to justify the cost.

    A second limo arrives and out steps DB2 followed by 40 people

    Interviewer: Who have you bought along?
    DB2: I have 2 DBA's, 2 hardware specialist and 36 consultants.

    Another limo arrives and out steps SQL Server all on his own

    Interviewer: Why haven't you brought anyone?
    SQL Server: I didn't bring anyone because I am easy to install and am basically self managing. But I did bring this URL for sqlteam when the shit hits the fan.